Appropriate intimacy
and sexuality within marriage.
What does The Family: A
Proclamation to the World[1]
say regarding this?
What does The Family: A
Proclamation to the World[1]
say regarding this?
“We declare that God’s commandment
for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We
further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation
are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and
wife. We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely
appointed.”
Something that really came together
for me when studying the concept of the importance of oneness in marriage was
how as we become one with our spouse, we can become one with God.
What does the textbook Successful
Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives [2]
say regarding this?
Chapter 5 is titled, “Marital
Sexuality and Fertility” and explores the four divine purposes of sexual
intimacy within marriage.
First, to fulfill a divine need for
couples to become one. Because of and through the physical oneness of sex, a
couple is able to move towards a oneness of soul and spirit that transcends the
physical pleasure of sex and binds the couple together in an intimate eternal
connection.
Second, it provides a connection
with God. Sexual intimacy can be described as a holy sacrament that celebrates
and worships the divine power of God in the sharing of His life-giving power.
Third, to strengthen the bonds
between husband and wife. Sharing marital sexual expressions strengthens
emotional connections between husband and wife.
Fourth, procreation. Continuing the
generations and providing the means by which Heavenly Father’s spirit children
are brought to mortality is essential to His plan. This is why He gave the
commandment to the first couple on earth to “multiply and replenish the earth.”
Great joy and happiness can come as families grow and welcome new spirits into
the home.
The authors conclude that, “Couples
who turn to the Lord for spiritual guidance to make proper use of the choices
and challenges that come with the wonderful gift of marital sexuality will find
comfort and eternal blessings.”[3]
What does Handbook 2:
Administering the Church[4]
say regarding this?
“21.4.4 It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear
children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are
then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to
have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left
between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in
this matter. Married couples should also understand that sexual relations within
marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but
also as a way of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual
bonds between husband and wife.”
What do the scriptures say regarding this?
Genesis 1:28 “Be fruitful, and
multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the
fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that
moveth upon the earth.”
D&C 49:15–17 “Wherefore, it is
lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all
this that the earth might answer the end of its creation; And that it might be
filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was
made.”
D&C 42:22 ““Thou shalt love thy
wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.”
Ruth 1:16-17 “Intreat me not to
leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I
will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people,
and thy God my God: “Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried:
the Lord do so to me, and more also [and now I will change it slightly] if [even]
death part thee and me.”
1 Peter 2:11 “. . . Abstain from
fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.”
What do latter-day prophets and apostles say regarding this?
President John Taylor taught, “We have a great many principles
innate in our natures that are correct, but they want sanctifying. God said to
man, ‘Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have
dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every
living thing that moveth upon the earth.’ (Genesis 1:28.) Well, he has planted,
in accordance with this, a natural desire in woman towards man, and in man
towards woman and a feeling of affection, regard, and sympathy exists between
the sexes. We bring it into the world with us, but that, like everything else,
has to be sanctified. An unlawful gratification of these feelings and sympathies
is wrong in the sight of God, and leads down to death, while a proper exercise
of our functions leads to life, happiness, and exaltation in this world and the
world to come.”[5]
President Joseph F. Smith explained, “The lawful association of
the sexes is ordained of God, not only as the sole means of race perpetuation,
but for the development of the higher faculties and nobler traits of human
nature, which the love-inspired companionship of man and woman alone can
insure”[6]
President Spencer W. Kimball describes, “It is the destiny of men
and women to join together to make eternal family units. In the context of
lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely
approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for
by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression
of love”[7] He
has also said, “The union of the sexes, husband and wife (and only husband and
wife), was for the principal purpose of bringing children into the world.
Sexual experiences were never intended by the Lord to be a mere plaything or
merely to satisfy passions and lusts. We know of no directive from the Lord
that proper sexual experience between husbands and wives need be limited
totally to the procreation of children, but we find much evidence from Adam
until now that no provision was ever made by the Lord for indiscriminate sex.”[8]
President Howard W. Hunter counseled, “Keep yourselves above any
domineering or unworthy behavior in the tender, intimate relationship between husband
and wife. Because marriage is ordained of God, the intimate relationship
between husbands and wives is good and honorable in the eyes of God. He has
commanded that they be one flesh and that they multiply and replenish the earth
(see Moses 2:28; 3:24). You are to love your wife as Christ loved the Church
and gave himself for it (see Ephesians 5:25–31). “Tenderness and respect—never
selfishness—must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between
husband and wife. Each partner must be considerate and sensitive to the other’s
needs and desires. Any domineering, indecent, or uncontrolled behavior in the
intimate relationship between husband and wife is condemned by the Lord.”[9]
Personal Thoughts
While, intimate relationships
between husband and wife exemplify that, “The expression of our procreative
powers is pleasing to God”[10] they
need to be appropriate expressions that are wholesome, loving, and uplifting,
not uncomfortable or degrading for either spouse. As my wife and I have been
married for over 25 years, the subject has come up as to the appropriateness of
intimate relations especially as we try to keep things new and exciting. Many
marriage and family counselors encourage couples to spice things up and to keep
romance alive, especially in long-term relationships. Still, we need to keep
all things, including appetites and passions within the bounds the Lord has
set.
As I’ve discussed this topic with
my wife, she mentioned that she has felt that as we matured in our intimate
relationship we seem to have each other’s’ interests and desires at heart as we
strive to please each other and share intimate times. We love the statement
from President Howard W. Hunter who said, “Tenderness and respect—never
selfishness—must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between
husband and wife.”[11]
[1] https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?CID=613601&lang=eng&old=true
[2] Hawkins,
A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and
families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU
Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.
[3] Ibid. p.
57.
[4] https://www.lds.org/handbook/handbook-2-administering-the-church?lang=eng
[5] Taylor, Gospel
Kingdom, 61.
[6] Smith, Unchastity
the Dominant Evil of the Age,” Improvement Era, June 1917.
[7] President
Kimball Speaks Out, 2.
[8] Kimball,
“The Lord’s Plan for Men and Women,” Ensign, Oct. 1975, 4.
[10] Dallin
H. Oaks, Ensign, Nov., 1993, p. 74.
[11] https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1994/10/being-a-righteous-husband-and-father?lang=eng
No comments:
Post a Comment